Our Fancy Perth Apartment ('s Bathroom)
Journey with us to one of Perth, Australia's most luxurious destinations: our bathroom.
Being neither a woman, nor a child, I do not take baths. - Internationally renowned travel blogger
As we don't yet have cars in Perth, rental or otherwise, the first place we'll visit in this travel blog is our fancy apartment. Specifically, our fancy apartment's fancy bathroom.
You're excited. I can tell.
But try to stay calm.
While our bathroom may not sound like a particularly exotic or luxurious destination for one of our first "travel blog" posts, I beg to differ. I beg to differ because our bathroom has this button:
I have never had a towel rack that required an "On / Off" button. Indeed, I did not know that such technology existed, and had never heard of (until this day) an electronic, heated towel rack.
Now I know how the other half (the half in the southern hemisphere, that is) live. Prior to this day, after showering, I simply grabbed my room-temperature towel from the towel rack, dried off, and continued about my morning - ignorant to the luxuries I was missing in my humble existence.
Well no longer, because thankfully, we have moved to Australia. And Australians are at the forefront of towel-hanging technology.
I have been to Moscow several times, and know well that Russians reading this blog will take exception to Australia's claim of dominance in the high-tech towel rack industry. "Niet!" this blog's legions of loyal Russian followers  will exclaim, "we have heated towel racks too!"
Those are not towel racks. Those are exposed hot water pipes that you happen to hang towels on. No doubt a booby trap meant for unsuspecting Americans to scald themselves upon as they stumble groggily out of the shower in the morning.
But I digress.
Our fancy apartment's fancy bathroom is a perfect destination for our first "travel blog" post because it has this bathtub, with this view:
Being neither a child, nor a woman, I did not take baths. Until this day. Now I only take baths. Upon exiting the bathtub, I grab my warm towel from the heated towel rack, and dry off.
But I rarely exit this bathtub. In fact I sit here, in this bathtub, day in and day out, writing humorous blog posts. You may find it strange that a grown man sits fully clothed in a bathtub writing amusing stories all day. But if your bathtub had this view, you would too.
Alas, these luxurious accommodations are only temporary. We will soon be forced to find a permanent, and, I suspect, more modest dwelling. Leaving this bathtub will be hard, but I know it is the best thing to do for my blogging career. After all, there is only so much to write about when you sit in a bathtub all day.
 Three loyal Russian followers, actually. My wife's mom, aunt, and sister. Which, if you're keeping count from our first blog post, brings our tally of followers up to five. All this success, without even venturing from the bathtub.